|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 14, 2013 22:12:26 GMT -5
((Jan 25th closed to Kevin and Jakkie))
She was still hiding away in Kevin's room, sleeping on the floor at night by his bed, and following him around during the day. It had become a life-style of sorts, in this short time and she often showed up by his side when he was out of classes. He never commented on it really, so she hadn't bothered to stop. If she'd gotten the idea it annoyed him maybe she'd have taken off by now, but it felt casual now. Comfortable.
When she flickered open her red eyes, it was still dark. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was still early in the morning, just passed midnight. No students would be up now. Or rather, no students should be up, and peering up at the side of Kevin's bed something seemed off. She sat up, and saw that it was empty, and raised an eyebrow.
Pulling herself off the floor she laid a tentative hand on the mattress where he'd likely have been laying. It was still somewhat warm, so after confirming that he wasn't in the room at all, she headed to the door without hesitation.
It wasn't hard to find him, after following his scent. One of the few things that was good about her mutation was some of her heightened senses. So using that, she'd followed him down to the kitchen, careful to stay quiet.
She stood in the doorway for a few moments, eyeing him carefully before he would have noticed her arrival. And then she sniffed, a small noise, but louder in this silence so it'd prove for a sufficient announcement.
"Kevin..." she said. Her tone was tentative, confused and questioning. But surprisingly soft.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 14, 2013 22:25:06 GMT -5
Killer... Murderer... Monster... Mutant Freak... ...deserve to die... ...killed his father... It's okay son...it's okay.
Kevin had awoken in a silent scream and a cold sweat from the nightmare which had plagued the dark corners of his mind. The words filled his brain and bounced off of his skull. It made him want to pull his hair out as if something was attacking him from the inside of his brain. He let out a small whimper. His father. His father had died telling him he loved him. Gone to join his mother in death. They were both dead. Murdered by their son.
Cradling his head in his hands he wanted to stop and cry. But he peered to the side after he heard the breath of Jakkie in the dark. Why she was still here he had no idea. She hadn't enrolled in the school, taken classes or even left his side the entire time. It was weird but for the sense that Kevin wanted to know why she'd stayed.
He rose, trying not to disturb her. Throwing on his gloves by the bed and a robe which covered his arms and neck, Kevin moved towards the kitchen. When he'd have nightmares his father would make him hot chocolate. It was alright to dwell on the memory just this once.
When he shut the fridge he jumped about two feet in the air when he heard his name, almost dropping the milk he held in his hand. The Swiss Miss packet was on the counter next to a mug already.
"Jesus Jakkie," Kevin breathed, lifting his head, "I didn't wake you up, did I?" He tried his hardest to hide the almost-tears which swelled his eyes.
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 14, 2013 22:36:02 GMT -5
She hardly reacted when he'd jumped in surprise to her arrival. She shook her head in response to his question, disregarding his words of surprise. Then, turning her eyes down and rubbing them, she went and seated herself on a stool at the corner of the counter, before returning her gaze to Kevin's face. She didn't speak for a moment, only openly observed his eyes, leaning her elbows onto the counter. Then she broke her silence.
"S'matter?" she asked. Again, her tone took of a surprising turn. Not a What's wrong with you, sucky baby kind of way that she'd normally address people with. Instead, she sounded truly concerned, without the regular dramatic pout that girls usually put on with that question.
It was a concerned, but firm, 'tell me what's wrong' sort of deal.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 14, 2013 22:42:04 GMT -5
Kevin relaxed and placed the milk down on the counter. He turned away from her, trying to hide his eyes.He shrugged his shoulders casually. "Nuthin'," he hummed, "Nuthin' at all. I'm fine. i'm just fine." His tone was on edge, like he was dancing on the edge of sobs and anger.
"Just," he breathed, "Just had a bad dream, that's all." He turned to Jakkie and nodded towards the milk which he was finished prepping for the microwave. "Uh, you want some?" He asked, trying to change the subject. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to wake you up. I was just...ah...had a sweet tooth?"
Yeah like she was gonna buy that.
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 14, 2013 22:48:41 GMT -5
Jakkie sat quietly with pursed lips and narrowed eyes until he finished speaking. She didn't buy that crap, and judging by her expression it was very clear. Her facials depicted clear annoyance that he was trying to hide it from her. Maybe it really wasn't any of her business in the end... but disregarding that, she was annoyed.
"Don't bullshit me..." she warned, eyes flickering to the milk and she shook her head, denying his offer. "Or insult me with some crap story. M'not stupid" she added.
"Are you okay?" she asked calmly, and changed strategies. He didn't have to tell her what was up... but she could question whether he was alright or not. In any case- she wasn't going to ask nicely again.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 15, 2013 0:07:29 GMT -5
Kevin winced as he shut the microwave door. He heard her words loud and clear.
"Don't bullshit me...Or insult me with some crap story. M'not stupid. Are You Okay?"
Kevin sighed as he punched in the numbers. The humming sound of the box was heard as he leaned against the counter to wait. He peered upward. "Alright, you win," he said, "I have nightmares from time to time. About...death and such."
He ran his fingers through his thick hair. "I see my Dad and my Mom. I never met her but I've seen pictures. She's real pretty. But...I killed her too in a way. Sort of. When I was born."
He turned his green orbs on her red ones. "I'm sorry," he said flatly, "You shouldn't have to listen to me bitch and moan." A beep was heard and he took the milk out of the microwave and shook the packet of chocolate over it.
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 15, 2013 0:33:06 GMT -5
She let him finished, looking intently at him as she tilted her head, and rubbed behind her pointed ear. Both ears twitched slightly, when he talked about his mother. He'd talked about his dad before but this was the first time he'd mentioned his mom, and that interested Jakkie to some degree, visibly. But she didn't vocalize that.
"I asked." she reminded him, and she didn't regret asking, even with his answer. He was so typically natural, in an odd sense. In the way that he took the blame for everything. Jakkie had probably killed a ton of people, not people she was close to in any way, but instead of reminding herself about it constantly, she ignored it.
Kevin was torn apart by the death of the people closest to him for something he couldn't control. And Jakkie? She didn't even give the people she killed the courtesy of mourning because she didn't want to think about it. For something that could probably have been avoided on a few separate occasions if she wasn't so hopeless; anger. So who looked like a true monster now? She hardly knew how to convey that into words, not that they would comfort him in any way.
"Kevin, I like you." she said flatly, running her hand through her hair, dark red eyes shifting up to meet his. It was put in a very off-handed tone, and said by any other person it could be written off as a casual phrase.
"There isn't anyone else I've willing been around and not wanted to kill myself because of it." she confessed, and looked down at the counter with a furrowed brow. It was weird hearing that aloud from her own lips, considering her initial reason for coming here to Kevin, was to die. She returned her gaze upwards.
"You're. Not. Bad." she finished insistently, and much to her own surprise, her voice shook on the last word. It'd sounded quite emotional, a refreshing change from her dull, nearly cryptic tone she seemed to normally take on.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 16, 2013 0:48:27 GMT -5
Kevin's eyes raised as he took a seat beside Jakkie cradling the mug of choclate between his gloved hands. His lips were still, a neutral expression on his face but his eyes told a story like an open book. He was surprised. His mouth dipped slightly as she finished her words.
"You're. Not. Bad."
Then why do I keep doing bad things? It's what he wanted to say, what he felt. But he couldn't somehow. He'd gotten to know Jakkie. She was solemn, keeping a 'devil may care' attitude about her and spending her time flipping off the world. But she was admitting she liked him. It was a bit before he spoke.
"I...I like you too," he said, awkwardly pushing back slightly on the chair, "Neither of us are bad, I guess." He didn't really know how to respond. He kept his chin tucked down slightly, breathing in and out.
What else was there to say? He couldn't elaborate on his nightmare, on anything else. He didn't want her to have to hear it.
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 16, 2013 1:18:10 GMT -5
She hadn't taken her eyes off of him until he had finished speaking. After he'd expressed than neither of them were bad, her eyes flickered down to the counter looking solemn. She pressed her lips together, and then chewed on the inside of her cheek while she considered his words carefully.
If he didn't think she was bad... then he obviously didn't know her. Hell, he really didn't know her. If he knew why she'd come to the school at all... She couldn't talk about that. But he'd said he liked her too. She couldn't remember if anyone had ever said that to her before, and it was hard to tell if he was just saying that to be polite. Because she'd said it first.
"Y'know... My daddy liked to play games with me." she started, and paused to swallow, wearing a bitter smile, "He'd take me out, out of town and drive down the road to some run down church with boarded up windows... drop me off saying 'Be home' and then head back without me." She paused to examine her own fingers, perhaps to detour her eyes from connecting with Kevin's.
"So I'd head straight home after that. I was young.. Where else was I gonna go? He did it a lot... 'ventually I stopped coming home right away. Make my own day out of it... Stashed some stuff away in that big old church. He cut it out when I didn't care about getting back to him eventually." she swallowed again, harder this time, and then leaned her chin on her crossed arms she had rested on the counter. Her red eyes finally shifted up to Kevin, looking cold, but more emotional than she'd bother to allowed before.
"Guess I'd rather have a nice dad for.. a short time, instead of a dickhead for life..." she summarized, using a careful and casual tone. Perhaps it was her way of trying to convey that in a way, Kevin was still lucky. Or maybe she was trying to pass some time. In any case, she sniffed and rubbing her nose while chewing her lower lip.
"I burned it down." Jakkie nodded before adding, "The church, I mean."
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 18, 2013 1:08:30 GMT -5
Kevin frowned, standing and staring at Jakkie as she spoke. He sighed, dipping his head down, moving his fingers around the ceramic of the cup he was holding. "I'm sorry." He'd at least had good years with his father. His father'd bought him his first set of art supplies, paid for his school, gave him soup when he was sick and read him stories before bed. Maybe that was why he was so soft. He should have been harder, especially now. He leaned back and breathed.
"Jakkie, I'm...I'm really sorry."
"Guess I'd rather have a nice dad for.. a short time, instead of a dickhead for life..." Kevin swallowed back, shutting his eyes tightly.
"I don't know about that," he said, his voice cracked a bit, "If he's a dickhead you don't care when he's gone." He opened the orbs, pouring them back in Jakkie's direction, placing the cup back on the kitchen counter. Instinct almost won a battle with his arm as he reached out to lightly touch her arm in a friendly way. He recoiled, almost hissing as he did so, shuddering away. No touching.
"Sometimes I feel like it's easier to remain aloof," he huffed, "Y'know...not give a damn? You do that, nothing hurts. Nothing at all..."
Being untouchable. Being alone. Being unliked. "Nothing hurts."
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 18, 2013 2:04:42 GMT -5
She listened to him speaking, his simple words breaking her resolve visibly towards the end of what he had to say. Hearing him say she didn't care about her dad dying out-loud, from someone else hit her in an odd way. It was entirely the truth. She didn't give a crap if he died. But she did give a crap about what she'd missed out on.
Jakkie shook her head, "I wasn't looking for apologies..." she said truthfully glancing up. Apologies sounded nicer than sympathy. Sympathy sounded angry. Her breath was uneven but controlled, as she looked down again.
Daddy's little girl. He called her that when he was feeling particularly nasty. It was supposed to be a name of endearment, wasn't it? Jakkie wouldn't have known it in that way. She looked down quickly to the counter, and blinked, swallowing hard before she spoke.
"Nothing hurts..." she repeated vacantly. Her jaw quivered for just a moment as she blinked back her own feelings. What he had said had visibly unsettled her. Then inhaling and exhaling slowly, she regained herself. It was quick, but she hadn't closed off to her usual cold self, still surprisingly opened to him.
"I'm not going to pretend what it's like for you Kevin." her voice wasn't so empty anymore, now composed. "But is that what you think of me..? Aloof." she repeated the word with a childlike curiosity, looking for approval in some sort of way. Then, to clarify what she was asking in a more specific light she continued.
"Do you think I'm lost?"
And then silence. She'd turned around on the chair, to face Kevin better, and look down. He'd moved to make physical contact with her on a few separate occasions now and always withdrawn himself after. It was understandable, but there was a part of her that was admittedly bothered, upset by that. With the desire to be accepted still on her, she saw one way to fully perceive his sentiment of her.
She reached forward cautiously, red eyes glancing up to Kevin as her hand tentatively moved towards his. No sudden movements, and watching carefully for signs of discomfort she would very likely see.
"You're not going to hurt me..." she breathed certainly, as her bare fingers lightly brushed his gloved ones.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 28, 2013 22:17:53 GMT -5
"DON'T."
Kevin's voice sounded firm as he scrambled back, eyes wide, pressing himself against the counter. There was a stumble in his step, a crack in his 15 year old voice as he almost whimpered as she touched him. Even if it was ever so briefly. "I am," he said softly, "I hurt everyone. I hurt everything." He looked at his hands, shut his eyes tight and rolled his orbs at Jakkie.
"It seems like that sometimes," Kevin said, "I know there's feelings in there somewhere. Somewhere. But you hide'em better'n most." His eyes narrowed darkly. He was still pressed uncomfortably away from her. He rose awkwardly, moving to the sink, his back to her.
"I like you too...and that's not okay..."
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 28, 2013 22:37:01 GMT -5
Jakkie admittedly looked shocked, even though she was expecting such a sudden reaction. They were two entirely different sensations though. Expecting, and then actually getting it. It hurt. She'd never admit it outright, but it did bloody hurt, and it was in that moment that she realized rejection was a real fear, and one she might quite possibly have.
She swallowed hard, eyes fluttering down as her chin trembled when he turned his back. His words weren't fully heard by her until moments after he'd said them. And some of those stung too. Even the last ones.
When she finally spoke, her voice was shaky.
"You have seen me... at my worst." she was referring to her other form, "And my weakest." now she was talking about when she'd come out of that form. "I can't..."Deal with rejection, from the only person who's accepted all my sides?
"I'll leave." she announced, her voice somewhat hollow. It wasn't a declaring sort of tone, but almost a threat. And then her cover broke some as she looked down and shook her head incredulously.
"I can't do this..." she murmured, barely audible, while blinking in disbelief. Jakkie realized she was much closer to the person who'd previously been her ticket to leaving this world than she'd intended.
She could hide her feelings and emotions from people without much of a problem. He wasn't mistaken there. But she had become attached to him. And she realized that if he wasn't going to connect fully to her, then she had to leave. It wasn't going to ruin her.
|
|
Kevin "Wither" Ford
Junior Member
"Find yourself a guy who couldn't double as the Grim Reaper."
Posts: 83
|
Post by Kevin "Wither" Ford on Mar 28, 2013 22:46:31 GMT -5
"What?"
Kevin own emerald orbs fluttered open as she spoke, raising himself from the sink where he'd tried to bury his feeling under the soap and water. His lips were parted slightly as her own voice cracked. Weakest, Worst. The girl was tough but she'd opened herself up. Kevin's head tilted, eyes squinted nervously as she spoke. She'd trusted him, it sounded like. It also sounded like he'd betrayed her.
"Wait a second," he whimpered. He cleared his throat, voice returning to normal. "Jakkie, wait," he said firmly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything against you. It's all...me..."
His eyes shut tightly before he opened them again and realized he was reaching out for her. He retracted his hand, swallowed and stepped a little closer to the girl.
"Don't go," he whispered, tugging at the top of his robe, "Don't. Please. You're like my only friend here. Or really ever." He grumbled the last part.
"I just can't stand the thought of hurting someone else, Jakkie," he said, "Especially someone I care about. I can't do that again." His eyes narrowed darkly. "I won't survive."
|
|
|
Post by Jakkie Savoy on Mar 28, 2013 22:56:21 GMT -5
Now she looked annoyed... Reproachful. But her eyes were very clearly pained, she wouldn't hide that from him. Or insult him by trying. She stood sharply, balling her fists when he took a step towards her, and pressed her lips together tightly.
She wasn't afraid of him, or his powers. Quite the contrary, she looked like she wanted to hit him. Hit him because he'd managed to reach her like no one else had. She was supposed to be unreachable. So nothing would hurt. There was a lot of things she wanted to say to him, but in the end...
"You're not the only one that's done bad things..." she managed in a hoarse whisper. She hadn't quite been able to look up at him with those words, and instead scowled downwards. It was hard to meet the eyes of anyone, when trying to recall how many people you might have killed in just the last year.
"You won't hurt me." she growled, as a last touch, sounding sufficiently annoyed with him, as if she were reprimanding him rather than comforting him.
|
|